From the start, The Sloth was at movie sixes and sevens. Gladiator Russell Crowe spends his days flying round dying Planet Krypton on the back of giant dragonflies, Harry Potter stylee. Gladiator’s wife gives birth to baby Superman but, as Krypton is about to implode, they decide schooling options are rather limited so pack baby Superman into one of those nasty pods Alien popped out of and shoot him off to Earth. On arrival, Superman is found and adopted by Kevin Costner, because Robin Hood is basically a nice bloke. But then a giant cyclone tears through Smallville and kills Robin Hood as he’s trying to rescue the family dog, Toto, leaving Superman alone with his adoptive Earth mum.
Henry Cavill takes on the famous red pants. Presumably for his furrowed brow and cleft chinned resemblance to Christopher Reeve. Henry initially suffers an identity crisis. If he reveals his super-strength, the inherently suspicious Earthlings might hound him out of town. So he keeps schtum. Until one day evil ex-Krypton resident General Zod shows up with giant spaceship bulldozers, planning to turn Earth into Krypton Mark 2. Nothing else for it, Henry has to shake off his neurosis and save the day.
Frankly, we’re a bit puzzled as to why the ‘Superman origins’ story is being done again – to fill in the kids? But that’s what the internet is for, no? And we weren’t keen on the ending (too long! enough buildings / cars / helicopters exploding already!), but we rather enjoyed the rest. Amy Adams brings her best Feisty as Lois Lane and Henry’s acting may not win any awards, bless, but his filling of the suit will inspire a thousand Men’s Health subscriptions. If they’d only added in a ‘Daaah da da da daaah, da da da’, The Sloth would have been a perfectly happy bunny.
UK release 14 June